DAD,
I AM STILL THINKING/FEELING LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO WALK THROUGH THE DOOR ANY MIN AND SAY "GOT YA, HA HA FUCKER" BUT... YOU HAVEN'T YET... 😢😢😢 YOU LEFT ME. YOU AREN'T GOING TO BE WALKING ME DOWN THE ISLE N GIVING ME AWAY IF/WHEN I GET MARRIED... YOU AREN'T GOING TO BE AT AUTUMN'S GRADUATION CEREMONY WHEN SHE FINISHES HIGH SCHOOL NEXT YEAR... YOU WON'T BE HERE WHEN KEN GOES TO HIGH SCHOOL NEXT YEAR GETS HIS LICENSE... YOUR NOT GOING TO BE HERE FOR ANY OF JAKE'S OR MY KIDS FUTURE MILESTONES!!!...
YOU LEFT ME TO BE WHO HAS TO BE WHO IS IN CHARGE OF ALL THESE THINGS THAT I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO HAVE DONE DAD, I HAD TO IDENTIFY MY DADDY'S BODY... 😢 ALL I CAN SEE AT THIS TIME IS YOUR FACE DEAD IN A MORGUE DAD I THINK OF YOU N I IMMEDIATELY HAVE THAT MEMORY, THAT PIC OF YOU, THAT LAST TIME SEEING MY DAD MEMORY/THOUGHT OF YOU POP IN MY HEAD... NOT YOU CRACKING JOKES, TELLING A CRAZY STORY OF GOLD AND CRACKING ME UP MEMORY PIC POP IN MY HEAD NOPE!!!
I HAVE TO WATCH MY BROTHER STRUGGLE WITH EVERY DAMN THING HE DOES NO MATTER WHAT THAT BE BECAUSE YOU ARE WHO TAUGHT HIM TO DO EVERYTHING HE DOES DAD. MY LITTLE BROTHER CRYING.... CRYING LIKE I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM CRY IN MY WHOLE LIFE DAD 😢 I'M SCARED TO FUCKING DEATH TO DO ANYTHING, GO TOO FAR, GOD FOR BID JAKE OR MY MOM NOT ANSWER MY CALL HOLY HELL I FREAK THE FUCK OUT NOW!!!
YOUR BEST FRIEND CAN'T EVEN WORK AND IS LOST, HE IS ALONE NOW... I WORRY IF I DON'T GO UP TO SHOP AND TAKE HIM HOME I'LL GET ANOTHER CALL LIKE THE CALL I GOT SUNDAY... I WAS OUT AT ROCKY'S TRYING TO CELEBRATE MY BDAY ALREADY UPSET BECAUSE MY OWN FATHER STILL HADN'T CALLED ME TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL I LOVE YOU!!!!!! NEVER WILL MY BIRTHDAY BE THE SAME EVER I HONESTLY CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT NEXT YEAR CUZ I HATE HATE HATE THIS TIME IF YEAR NOW I HATE MY GOD DAMN BIRTHDAY DAY I HATE EVERY THING TO DO WITH THE STUPID FUCKING HOLIDAY. OH YEAH CHRISTMAS DAD YOUR NOT GOING TO BE HERE!!!!!!!!! 😢😢😢😢😢 I MISS YOU DAD SO FUCKING BAD AND I CAN'T CRY TO ANYONE CUZ I'M WHO HAS TO STAY STRONG FOR ALL THEM! SMH...
JAKE AND I WILL BE GOING ON A COUPLE DAY ADVENTURE JUST US TWO TO SPREAD YOUR ASHES JUST LIKE YOU TOLD ME TO DO... I MADE SURE (BASICALLY FOUGHT THEM) TO GET YOUR MEMORIAL CARDS TO SAY "GONE FISHING" LIKE YOU DEMANDED BE PUT ON YOUR URN AT THE FUNERAL HOME! YW 😘😶😶
DAD I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE LISTEN TO ME DUDE... 😢😢😩 YOU LEFT US TOO SOON!!! WAY TOO SOON... 😇😇💔💔✌️✌️✌️💋💋💋💋
ANY ONE CAN BE A FATHER BUT IT TAKES SOMEONE SPECIAL TO BE A DADDY...
I LOVE YOU DADDY! RIP
LOVE YOUR BABY GIRL,
RACHEL STAR 💋💋💋
